Its the 6th birthday of urs I remember not celebrating with u. In fact i dun really remember any such birthday we celebrated together, cuz while u were here, everyday was a birthday in itself. After all u were the one because of whom i was born. Happy birthday dad.
I know u were never really fond of reading for except your Masaaledaar hindi novels and that my wishes wont really reach u, can only hope.
Some flashes of memory just hit me hard a while back. the earliest i can remember is probably those rides on ur scooter, and yeah u ditching me when i was 4 i guess and went to mumbai with mom n bhai and sent me to have cold drinks and ice creams with grandpa. And when u had some issues with uncle at home and u picked me n bhai n rushed outta the house in anger, me being barefooted. or when u gave like a big birthday bash when i turned 5 or 6. and how happy u were that i learned to ride a bicycle the first time i sat on it! and u taking me to dollops for ice cream when i insisted to go out of the hospital and have ice cream, just when i woke up after my surgery. I know u tuk me without the hospitals permission! or u teaching us how to fly kites. dun really remember u scolding us while we were young, your eyes were enough to scare us! i remember u being so happy when i had a drink for the first time...n ur mixed reactions when i got drunk for the first time! haha...that was funny. Also when i was admiited once, she came and was kissing me and u just entered the room but quietly walked away. this was the same time when u thought i tried commiting suicide...come on..that was just an overdose of my sleeping pills.
and yeah - u coming fro karol bagh to noida in like 15-20 minutes, leaving ur booze and cards when u got to know that ive been hit by a diwali rocket just next to the eye! damn .. u were a rash rider and a rash driver too at times!
and when u were admitted for some surgery u made me swear that i wud go for my soccer match n not stay with u in the hospital. and the best - when u got me a car when i was just 14 and i started driving it the same day - u asked without much surprise that when did i learn driving and i said - "this is the first time i am"! haha - that was the shocker!
and all th etimes u git like borees of crackers for diwali, and similar amount of dry fruits (ok that was ur business, n i almost ruined it by eating all ur dry fruits whenever i went to ur godown) ..n u scolded me cuz it wasnt good for me to have so much....but i revolted back by eating even more!
this is classy - do u remember, when i was guess just 3 or maybe around 4 - u came home with ur moustache shaved off - i din open th egate saying that dad's not home, and when u continued ringing the bell i told mom that some CHAUKIDAAR aaya hai.
n then how can i forget u entertainig people inspite of all ur pains. i remember ur lohri stunt. and ur drunken nights especially after u knew i cud drive better than u inspite of being drunk (thats cuz mom din knw tht ive had lots). and instead of asking me not to take the car outstation when i was just 15 , u got me a fake license by the time i turned 16! i still use that one and had a problem once opening my bank account! well....n u getting Shubu's mama to Agra for his brothers marriage is something that his whole family still talks about! u din even know his family then! Shubu still misses drinking with u. n so does grandpa, n so does me.
and what about Bruno - u remember him na? when those two big dogs barked at u and our little superhero chased them to their home and when their owner shouted at u he bit him n tore his pyjamas. n u beating up neighbours once...and even a policeman on train when he misbehaved u when u were drinking in the train. u were such a badmash, and so short tempered. but everyone misses u anyways, all the people whom u think hated u! they tell me all the time that inspite the fact u were short tempered and were really bitter with words u were the truest of all. and a gem who helped everyone without them asking for it.
and what about the time i scolded u while i caught u red handed smoking inspite of u being diagnosed?
i also remember all the tears i saw dwelling in ur eyes, something i never did. i remember everything, every word u said in those last two months.
theres so much more. so much more. so much more. N i really wish there was much much more.
miss u dad. love u. never said that to u - but i did love u n still do.
btw......today i woke up late, mum asked me to have the prasad - i missed if there was any pooja, i doubt though, cuz no one ever lets emotions out in our family. i went to chachu's place for drinks and had exactly 3 drinks - like u had - those were for u. but now while im writing this, i prepared another one - i know u wud hate me for having drinks after dinner, but its ok, i can have just one, n i know u wudnt mind! gnite for now or else i mite just break again.