just another time

dont fight a battle if theres nothing to win!

how i respect those words......so y is it that i cannot follow them?
or is it that i just fight to lose? y?

aint we all fighting our ownselves over something or the other?
but y do we fight? bcz we hope that in the end we get what we are battling for!
then y cant i do it? y is it so hard?
if i dont battle it out....i lose.......
if i do....i dun wanna win!

the chapters of sanity are long over........victories dont fascinate me anymore!
um a mere mortal......just a lil child.......crying out for attention.....yet alwayz trying to hide.
always trying to get those eyes on me......and when they do.....i look for places to hide.......and the hide outs are as visible as the person i am!

IF YOU LIVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS....THERE IS A PRICE YOU HAFTA PAY!
and only those who can.......can live on their own terms!
but whats the price one needs to pay for that?
sanity?
respect?
ego?
or even dignity?

what if u paid it all....n still cant live on ur terms? or is it that you dont want to? or is it that THEY dont let u?

what is it that keeps holding you back?
loved ones?
friends?
or the ones u want to be with.....even when u know u wont be able to!


the sooner u realize that u dun have the answers to certain questions.......
the sooner u realize that u cannot change certain things....
the sooner u can live in peace!

amen!

It was all a dream
A nightmare indeed
I knew it’ll soon be over
Ill soon be free
From he clutches that were
Holding me so tight
The clutches
I cudnt give a fight

But suddenly I knew
I wasn’t sleeping
I wasn’t dreaming
And realized
I wasn’t even breathing!!

I'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All my sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for stormy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain


Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never take away my misery
But since we're not together
I'll "pray" for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling,
you'll never see me complain
I'll do my crying in the rain

Since we're not together
I'll pray for stormy weather
to hide these tears
I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling,
you'll never see me complain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain

Don’t Become A Part Of My Life

Don’t Care So Much For Me,
I May Get Used To It.
Don’t Come So Near To Me,
I May Not Be Able To Detach From It.

Don’t Put So Much Faith In Me,
I May Not Be Able To Handle It.
Don’t Touch Me The Way U Do,
I May Not Be Able To Get Over It.

Don’t Become A Part Of My Life,
Because Without You, I Won’t Be Able To Live It.
Don’t Make Me Fall For You,
I May Not Be Able To Fall Out Of It.

Don’t Come Into My Life,
If You Have To Leave One Day.
Don’t Give Me The Hope,
That It’s Forever U R Going To Stay.

Because Love Is An Emotion,
I Won’t Be Able To Hide.
When Love Isn’t Reciprocated With Love,
It Hurts Deep Down Inside.

Don’t Start Something,
That I Won’t Be Able To End.
Don’t Make Me Believe,
That You Can Be More Than A Friend.

Because At The End Of It All,
I Don’t Want To Hear You Say,
That,” I’M SORRY”,
“But I Never Felt The Same Way”.

Running away

On the solitary road of my life,
I move on.
Not looking behind,
Not knowing where i am,
Not caring where am headed to.
Am running away
From the unfading memories,
From the repeated moments,
From the unleashed feelings,

Am running away
From myself.

..........................

I was walking in the rain
With the sun shining bright on the other side
Somewhere in between
I saw an angel, an angel in disguise

Her aura entangled the human in me
N from the prison that captivates me
I wanted to break free

Together we just spent a while
But her presence around me
Made the sepulcher smile!

I smiled my way through my pains
Forgone were the days spent in vain
For the first time it felt I was sane
Till the time I realized things never change!

Ordinary I am and live an ordinary life
What I started to live was fantasy
Her unsaid words pushed me away
N I realized, my feelings were there to stay!

Angels are just a dream
I learnt the truth n just wanted to scream
A scream that’s unheard, unsaid, unrevealed
I scratched my wounds that just healed

I dreamt to breathe again
It was all a dream
I thought she’d understand
I think so much man!

Now that my silence screams….
It deafens me
Those unsaid words
Can just be seen!

it says too much!

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

:)

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear


'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said


So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way.
I smoke thewhole thing to my head
and feel it wash away

'cause i can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said


I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I WANT LOVE

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated


I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart


But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love


I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic


So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

Not Dark....YET

Shadows are falling and I've been here all day

It's too hot to sleep time is running away

Feel like my soul has turned into steel

I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal

There's not even room enough to be anywhere

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain

Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain

She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind

She put down in writing what was in her mind

I just don't see why I should even care

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well, I've been to all around in my dreams

I've followed the river and I got to the sea

I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies

I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes

Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

I was born here and I'll die here against my will

I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still

Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb

I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from

Don't even hear a murmur of a prayer

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.