i came face to face with the real world today!
came face to face with the selfish world!
not that i havent earlier....but today was special....just like alwayz :p ... ha ha
to start with...i will recall a dialogue from hancock.....something i modified and used....but unlike movies...i got a rude reply....maybe she misunderstood....maybe i used the wrong words....maybe....she just wants to push me away.....no matter what the reason is.....i think i have been and i am being! and i will :) ... wud just play my part ...will make sure i play it well ... no matter how much i get hurt .... after all it was her smile that made me smile for quite some time .... n if i use the right words at the right time ... maybe her smile would still bring a smile to me as long as i see her smile! so wanted to speak to her.......but.....as always......
"i wonder how bad my timing is..........but everytime!" .... she could never get what i meant ... n she wont :)
and what about an unanswered call (s) .... un replied message(s) .... till the time i had to explain that it wasnt for me but for her! n not the first time that i saw it!
cant blame her. only i am to. who am i to her? practically - NOONE! or to give myself some consolation...an internet friend....a phone friend maybe.....a friend..i doubt :)
but um still a fool to just close my eyes.....let it all go......dont get hurt....only to hurt myself even more!
i can see the end.....its near.....have given up before it actually gets over!
a quitter never wins! .... i had never quit before.....but did i win? maybe i expect too much!
dun wanna win no more. dun want anything anymore!
ill close my eyes comfortably....accept my defeat....wont complain....and ill just continue.....and worse still....i wud still smile! and wud still be the same!
may my soul never rest in peace! thats what i deserve for never learning!
maybe ill be a better human if i ever get a chance to be one again!
will it rain? i dont think so!
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